In the advent of autumn, I have always reveled in the new stationary items that flood the house - whether they were bought for me, or now for my kids. I love the feel of fresh colored pencils (or pencil crayons, depending on your nationality), or the waxy smell of crayons, or even the potential of all those lovely blank notebook pages!!
This year, as Buddy gets all of his gear in order, I have ordered a special item for myself. This item, though, requires a tiny bit of a back story:
I have finished my 52 book resolution! As it is not even September, I have decided to take on another self-improvement style resolution : improving my handwriting/learn calligraphy. This is kind of an open ended resolution, but, I am resolving, nonetheless.
This resolution came directly out of being inspired by a video that's been floating around the internet which a friend of mine tagged for me to watch. It's incredible....and here it is : here . I LOVE his talking about how writing things down engraves things in our brains. It also struck a chord with me in that, I really am failing in my other resolution of memorizing James. I have the first chapter done, and am about 10 verses in to the second, but I don't know if I'll be able to get through the other 2 and 3/4 chapters by December if I don't switch up my method.
SO! Back to my special purchase! I ordered myself a beginner fountain pen! It's a gorgeous Faber-Castell Loom - which, according to the research I've done, is the best quality for people who are just getting into the art. There are others out there, but they have some pitfalls that this one seems to not have. Hooray!
I also got the book Mastering Copperplate Calligraphy!
With practicing my handwriting, I've already started - I've been copying out James, and then doing it from memory. Once a day (or every other day) I write out the verses I'm working on, and then once a week, I do all of the ones I have to keep them solidly in my brain. It's SO awesome. Two birds, one stone!
What are your plans for the fall?
XO,
J
Soli Deo Gloria!
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Friday, August 21, 2015
The Job Precipice
This summer I have been mulling over the last few chapters of the book of Job. I have always loved the questions that God poses, as it displays his power. Lately, though, I realized, it's to Job that God is speaking, not the friends who make a mess of things.
Job, the man who had all of his wealth and family (save a wife who complained) stripped from him. The man who had sores so bad he was scraping himself with broken pottery. The man whose friends decided it was HIS fault that all these things descended upon him. Seriously, Job was in a messed up situation.
The thing is, in all of it, Job remained righteous, so why does God tell Job to 'dress for action like a man?' and 'I will question you, and you will make it known to me' ? Not just once, but twice, once after Job realizes his mistake and literally puts his hand over his mouth!
It's amazing. At first, it made me feel that God was not being kind, but being a belligerent oaf who kicks Job when he's already down.....but that's not God. He is kind, He is love, He is slow to anger. The picture in my head just didn't jive. What WAS going on? I had to look further.
It's not about Job. That's what's going on. The book of Job is not about Job. It is about God and his glory. God was showing Satan how good He is - that even when all of Job's life crumbles around him, Job will remain faithful. God IS that good.
I think that God is reminding Job at the end of this book that Job was right to do as he did - remain faithful to such a great and awe-filling God. Not only that, God reveals MORE of himself to Job - so much so that righteous Job realizes the tininess of himself and repents in the presence of so much glory. This opportunity is so amazing, so astounding....it leaves me breathless.
God didn't talk to Job to comfort him in human terms whatsoever. (Though, God does restore Job's fortune, health and family later) He makes himself more fully known, and that is enough to shake Job into fearful praise."I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted" - wow. WOW. Being able to say that after what Job went through?! It means that he got it. He understood it wasn't about him. That is a gift.
People generally quote Job's initial response to the disaster - naked he came, naked he'll go....but that's not the sentiment I want to take away this time. I want to have God's power seared into my heart, to have the knowledge that GOD can do ALL things and no purpose of His can be thwarted branded into my mind.
If it is a part of me, then I will not fear whatever might come next.
If it is a part of me, then I have opportunity to take the next step.
If it is a part of me, then praise becomes my native tongue.
I'm standing on Job's precipice, and I think I'm going to dive off....heart first.
Join me?
XO,
J
Soli Deo Gloria
Job, the man who had all of his wealth and family (save a wife who complained) stripped from him. The man who had sores so bad he was scraping himself with broken pottery. The man whose friends decided it was HIS fault that all these things descended upon him. Seriously, Job was in a messed up situation.
The thing is, in all of it, Job remained righteous, so why does God tell Job to 'dress for action like a man?' and 'I will question you, and you will make it known to me' ? Not just once, but twice, once after Job realizes his mistake and literally puts his hand over his mouth!
It's amazing. At first, it made me feel that God was not being kind, but being a belligerent oaf who kicks Job when he's already down.....but that's not God. He is kind, He is love, He is slow to anger. The picture in my head just didn't jive. What WAS going on? I had to look further.
It's not about Job. That's what's going on. The book of Job is not about Job. It is about God and his glory. God was showing Satan how good He is - that even when all of Job's life crumbles around him, Job will remain faithful. God IS that good.
I think that God is reminding Job at the end of this book that Job was right to do as he did - remain faithful to such a great and awe-filling God. Not only that, God reveals MORE of himself to Job - so much so that righteous Job realizes the tininess of himself and repents in the presence of so much glory. This opportunity is so amazing, so astounding....it leaves me breathless.
God didn't talk to Job to comfort him in human terms whatsoever. (Though, God does restore Job's fortune, health and family later) He makes himself more fully known, and that is enough to shake Job into fearful praise."I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted" - wow. WOW. Being able to say that after what Job went through?! It means that he got it. He understood it wasn't about him. That is a gift.
People generally quote Job's initial response to the disaster - naked he came, naked he'll go....but that's not the sentiment I want to take away this time. I want to have God's power seared into my heart, to have the knowledge that GOD can do ALL things and no purpose of His can be thwarted branded into my mind.
If it is a part of me, then I will not fear whatever might come next.
If it is a part of me, then I have opportunity to take the next step.
If it is a part of me, then praise becomes my native tongue.
I'm standing on Job's precipice, and I think I'm going to dive off....heart first.
Join me?
XO,
J
Soli Deo Gloria
Friday, July 10, 2015
In the Quiet Times
I've been pretty radio silent the last while. It's not because I have nothing to say, or that not much is going on. It's the opposite.
Our life right now has been overwhelming. Our priorities have shifted, and writing has been taking a backseat. Most everything, really, has taken a backseat and the car has shifted into crisis mode.
You see, we've been fighting for a long time to get funding, to get professionals to see our son as he is, to have some semblance of rest, to understand what's going on in his brain and how it affects his body, to ...do so many other things.
On Monday, we had a case conference that has put us in to a quiet time. We've been told we've come to a wall. There's no door, and we can't move it. We need to simply wait for someone to build a door, or toss a rope over from the other side. ....analogy aside, the team, and us, have done all the proper things, but we've run out of options at this time in improving our situation.
It's brutal. It's heart breaking. It's....freeing. We're no longer fighting, but sitting against the wall and resting. We're not looking a head too far, we're simply here, and now. We're continuing on with the steps we've taken, and actually going backwards a little bit to see if we've missed anything in our foundational steps.
Instead of reaching and stretching ourselves too thin, we're making ourselves small, and reducing expectations. It's not easy, but it's what we have to do right now. We're not out of the war, we're regrouping and reinforcing.
All of that to say - I might be more quiet on the blog. Know I'm still around. Know I want to communicate. And, for right now, you might need to initiate.
Keeping my chin up,
XO
J
soli deo gloria
Our life right now has been overwhelming. Our priorities have shifted, and writing has been taking a backseat. Most everything, really, has taken a backseat and the car has shifted into crisis mode.
You see, we've been fighting for a long time to get funding, to get professionals to see our son as he is, to have some semblance of rest, to understand what's going on in his brain and how it affects his body, to ...do so many other things.
On Monday, we had a case conference that has put us in to a quiet time. We've been told we've come to a wall. There's no door, and we can't move it. We need to simply wait for someone to build a door, or toss a rope over from the other side. ....analogy aside, the team, and us, have done all the proper things, but we've run out of options at this time in improving our situation.
It's brutal. It's heart breaking. It's....freeing. We're no longer fighting, but sitting against the wall and resting. We're not looking a head too far, we're simply here, and now. We're continuing on with the steps we've taken, and actually going backwards a little bit to see if we've missed anything in our foundational steps.
Instead of reaching and stretching ourselves too thin, we're making ourselves small, and reducing expectations. It's not easy, but it's what we have to do right now. We're not out of the war, we're regrouping and reinforcing.
All of that to say - I might be more quiet on the blog. Know I'm still around. Know I want to communicate. And, for right now, you might need to initiate.
Keeping my chin up,
XO
J
soli deo gloria
Monday, June 1, 2015
Resolutions at the 6 Month Mark
So, I only made two resolutions this year. Both I thought would be challenging. One, so far has, the other...has been breezy.
I, at this point, have only 20ish verses of James memorized. This is progress, but it is for sure not half of the book! I want to say that I've been working on it every day, but I haven't. It's been hard, and I've been distracted. I DO have 6 more months to work on it, and I am optimistic that it will be done.
...that being said. Those first 20 verses....have been drowning my heart in truth! Oh how I love God's words and how applicable it is, even centuries after it as originally penned!
So, my second resolution was to read 52 books this year. Here is the list so far, with a brief description of why I liked, or didn't like it:
1. Storm Front, By Richard Castle - I loved this. Not because of the content, but because it is meta - the person Richard Castle doesn't exist, he is a character in a TV show....but this book is written in such a way that you really do feel like the character wrote it!
2. The Shunned House - HP Lovecraft - I read it to see his style of writing. It was creepy, and fantastic. I then watched a documentary about his life, and was fascinated. He really burst open the world of subtle horror.
3.To Live is Christ to Die is Gain - Matt Chandler - this was an excellent read....and the title says it all.
4. Angels Watching Over Me - Michael Philips - this is a first of a series, but I wouldn't read the rest. It was okay, but not great
5. Alone with God - J MacArthur. - This was a great read on prayer! LOVED it!
6. Into the Whirlwind-Elizabeth Camden - this was a fluffy escape book. You can 'call it' from the first page, but it did hold my interest.
7. Sycamore Row - John Grisham - this is well done...just like all Grisham's stuff.
8. I am Malala - Malala Yousafzai - This was interesting read. It was a bit cumbersome, as it was written by a young girl in her native tongue, then translated into English. It was fascinating, but I would much rather read her story if she would choose to write it again in 10 years.
9. Shrewd: Daring to Live the Startling Command of Jesus - Rick Lawrence - This has been my favourite non-fiction book this year! It is AMAZING. It's about a subject I had never even really thought through before - I would say a must read!
10. Overwhelmed: Winning the war against worry - Perry Noble - to be honest, I don't much remember this book. I'm sure it was okay...just maybe not new info that stuck with me.
11.Watching Tree Limbs - Mary E. DeMuth - This was a brutal read. So painful to read about a young abused girl's life, and then see how she is taken out of it. I would read it again, but with an entire flat of kleenex.
12. All for a Story - Allison Pittman - This was another fluffy escape type book, but well done, and not super typical for a Christian 'romance'
13. The Runaway Jury - Grisham - This was a reread, and I still love this book
14. The Stone and the Song - Ben Y. Faroe - written by a dear friend of mine! It's not my usual style, but is was great nonetheless!
15. Moby Dick - Herman Melville - I had gotten the abridged version for my son, but read a few pages myself to see how I liked it, fell in love with the language then read the whole unabridge version (okay, minus the entirely too long essay about all the different kinds of whales in the world). the language got me. I loved it. I also particularly loved Tashtego being compared to a midwife.
16.Anne of Greeen Gables - LM Montgomery - I cannot even start to say how much I love this series of books!
17. Diving Design - J MacArthur - This was okay. I felt it was a bit dated, though
18. Anne of Avonlea - LM Montgomery - Oh Anne....
19. Anne of the Island - LM Montgomery - More lovin'
20. Take One - Karen Kingsbury - okay....this one was just annoying to me. It's another part of an already too long series. .....ugh.
21. Franchising McChurch - Thomas White - interesting concept, but didn't really 'hit' me.
22. A Hopeful Heart - Amy Clipston - An interesting spin on the the usual Christian Amish stories
23. Anne of Windy Poplers - LM Montgomery - this one used to be my least favourite....but it has risen in ranks, with maturity and time.
24. Anne's House of Dreams - LM Montgomery - I think this one is my favourite!....or the first...or second... oh I don't know...they are all SO GOOD!
25. Static Jedi: The Art of Hearing God Through the Noise - Eric Samuel Timm - it was okay, not THE BEST, but okay.
26.The Elegance of the Hedgehog - Muriel Barbery - I LOVED THIS BOOK. Seriously, this one is my new favourite of all time....right up there with the Anne series ;)
27. God built - Steve Farrar - This was was stellar - a great look into the life of Joseph. Loved it!
28. The Street Lawyer - Grisham - ....I like Grisham's stuff, what can I say?
29. Anne of Ingleside- LM Montgomery - I had taken a break, you can get 'Anne-d' out, but this one brought me right back in!
30. Crucify! Why the Crowd Killed Jesus - Timothy J. Stoner - I am not sure how entirely accurate this book is, but it makes you think of the earthly ministry of Christ in a whole different light. I mostly enjoyed it!
31. Rainbow Valley - LM Montgomery - All about Anne's kids and friends! YAY! more Anne Love!
32. Follow: A Simple and Profound Call to Live Like Jesus - Floyd McClung. This one was life changingly good. seriously...I'll probably read it again this year.
33. Rilla of Ingleside - LM Montgomery - oh....how I hated finishing the last book of the Anne series.....sigh....now to start them over again?
34. Palace of Curiosities - Rosie Garland - interesting premise....lousy ending. I would not read it again, or even suggest others to. It's supposed to be a book about the behind the scenes lives of circus performers....it was just kind of....blah.
35. Secondhand Jesus - Glenn Packiam - I LOVED this book. read it - you will too.
36. Covered Glory - David Philips - a short read about a study on covering womens' hair during prayer and worship. Interesting....
37. The Rainmaker - Grisham - more Grisham....hooray!
38. The Oracle of Stamboul - Michael David Lukas - This one had SO MUCH POTENTIAL....and that's all it had.
39. Gourmet Rhapsody - Muriel Barbery - this is a companion book for The Elegance of a Hedgehog (see above). I don't know if there was a I book I was ever more excited to read...It was elegant, short, and like putting a puzzle together in your mind about the man's life. oh...I loved it.
So - that is my list so far! only 13 more to go until I am finished for my resolution....but I won't stop reading then. It's fascinating to me how much written word can be taken in in such a short time! Thank you, Jesus, for the printing press!
How are your resolutions going?
XO
J
Soli Deo Gloria!
I, at this point, have only 20ish verses of James memorized. This is progress, but it is for sure not half of the book! I want to say that I've been working on it every day, but I haven't. It's been hard, and I've been distracted. I DO have 6 more months to work on it, and I am optimistic that it will be done.
...that being said. Those first 20 verses....have been drowning my heart in truth! Oh how I love God's words and how applicable it is, even centuries after it as originally penned!
So, my second resolution was to read 52 books this year. Here is the list so far, with a brief description of why I liked, or didn't like it:
1. Storm Front, By Richard Castle - I loved this. Not because of the content, but because it is meta - the person Richard Castle doesn't exist, he is a character in a TV show....but this book is written in such a way that you really do feel like the character wrote it!
2. The Shunned House - HP Lovecraft - I read it to see his style of writing. It was creepy, and fantastic. I then watched a documentary about his life, and was fascinated. He really burst open the world of subtle horror.
3.To Live is Christ to Die is Gain - Matt Chandler - this was an excellent read....and the title says it all.
4. Angels Watching Over Me - Michael Philips - this is a first of a series, but I wouldn't read the rest. It was okay, but not great
5. Alone with God - J MacArthur. - This was a great read on prayer! LOVED it!
6. Into the Whirlwind-Elizabeth Camden - this was a fluffy escape book. You can 'call it' from the first page, but it did hold my interest.
7. Sycamore Row - John Grisham - this is well done...just like all Grisham's stuff.
8. I am Malala - Malala Yousafzai - This was interesting read. It was a bit cumbersome, as it was written by a young girl in her native tongue, then translated into English. It was fascinating, but I would much rather read her story if she would choose to write it again in 10 years.
9. Shrewd: Daring to Live the Startling Command of Jesus - Rick Lawrence - This has been my favourite non-fiction book this year! It is AMAZING. It's about a subject I had never even really thought through before - I would say a must read!
10. Overwhelmed: Winning the war against worry - Perry Noble - to be honest, I don't much remember this book. I'm sure it was okay...just maybe not new info that stuck with me.
11.Watching Tree Limbs - Mary E. DeMuth - This was a brutal read. So painful to read about a young abused girl's life, and then see how she is taken out of it. I would read it again, but with an entire flat of kleenex.
12. All for a Story - Allison Pittman - This was another fluffy escape type book, but well done, and not super typical for a Christian 'romance'
13. The Runaway Jury - Grisham - This was a reread, and I still love this book
14. The Stone and the Song - Ben Y. Faroe - written by a dear friend of mine! It's not my usual style, but is was great nonetheless!
15. Moby Dick - Herman Melville - I had gotten the abridged version for my son, but read a few pages myself to see how I liked it, fell in love with the language then read the whole unabridge version (okay, minus the entirely too long essay about all the different kinds of whales in the world). the language got me. I loved it. I also particularly loved Tashtego being compared to a midwife.
16.Anne of Greeen Gables - LM Montgomery - I cannot even start to say how much I love this series of books!
17. Diving Design - J MacArthur - This was okay. I felt it was a bit dated, though
18. Anne of Avonlea - LM Montgomery - Oh Anne....
19. Anne of the Island - LM Montgomery - More lovin'
20. Take One - Karen Kingsbury - okay....this one was just annoying to me. It's another part of an already too long series. .....ugh.
21. Franchising McChurch - Thomas White - interesting concept, but didn't really 'hit' me.
22. A Hopeful Heart - Amy Clipston - An interesting spin on the the usual Christian Amish stories
23. Anne of Windy Poplers - LM Montgomery - this one used to be my least favourite....but it has risen in ranks, with maturity and time.
24. Anne's House of Dreams - LM Montgomery - I think this one is my favourite!....or the first...or second... oh I don't know...they are all SO GOOD!
25. Static Jedi: The Art of Hearing God Through the Noise - Eric Samuel Timm - it was okay, not THE BEST, but okay.
26.The Elegance of the Hedgehog - Muriel Barbery - I LOVED THIS BOOK. Seriously, this one is my new favourite of all time....right up there with the Anne series ;)
27. God built - Steve Farrar - This was was stellar - a great look into the life of Joseph. Loved it!
28. The Street Lawyer - Grisham - ....I like Grisham's stuff, what can I say?
29. Anne of Ingleside- LM Montgomery - I had taken a break, you can get 'Anne-d' out, but this one brought me right back in!
30. Crucify! Why the Crowd Killed Jesus - Timothy J. Stoner - I am not sure how entirely accurate this book is, but it makes you think of the earthly ministry of Christ in a whole different light. I mostly enjoyed it!
31. Rainbow Valley - LM Montgomery - All about Anne's kids and friends! YAY! more Anne Love!
32. Follow: A Simple and Profound Call to Live Like Jesus - Floyd McClung. This one was life changingly good. seriously...I'll probably read it again this year.
33. Rilla of Ingleside - LM Montgomery - oh....how I hated finishing the last book of the Anne series.....sigh....now to start them over again?
34. Palace of Curiosities - Rosie Garland - interesting premise....lousy ending. I would not read it again, or even suggest others to. It's supposed to be a book about the behind the scenes lives of circus performers....it was just kind of....blah.
35. Secondhand Jesus - Glenn Packiam - I LOVED this book. read it - you will too.
36. Covered Glory - David Philips - a short read about a study on covering womens' hair during prayer and worship. Interesting....
37. The Rainmaker - Grisham - more Grisham....hooray!
38. The Oracle of Stamboul - Michael David Lukas - This one had SO MUCH POTENTIAL....and that's all it had.
39. Gourmet Rhapsody - Muriel Barbery - this is a companion book for The Elegance of a Hedgehog (see above). I don't know if there was a I book I was ever more excited to read...It was elegant, short, and like putting a puzzle together in your mind about the man's life. oh...I loved it.
So - that is my list so far! only 13 more to go until I am finished for my resolution....but I won't stop reading then. It's fascinating to me how much written word can be taken in in such a short time! Thank you, Jesus, for the printing press!
How are your resolutions going?
XO
J
Soli Deo Gloria!
Friday, May 22, 2015
The Gift of Grieving
Lately, I've been struck with how great it is that Jesus cried over the death of Lazarus. The anguish of the death of a friend hurts. Grieving well is a gift. Stiffing grief only causes more pain.
I haven't lost anyone super recently. My adopted grandmother did go to Heaven last year, and that was hard, but we had drifted a bit since I had moved out west. I miss her asking for a half a cup of coffee, or making rice krispies with her, or even sneaking PB cookie dough out of the bowl away from her watchful eye.
The grief the my husband and I are working through is a living breathing and ever changing grief. The grief has to do with our dreams and expectations of the future, as well as some expectations of 'normal' everyday life.
Anxiety and sensory processing disorders have given us the challenge of figuring out how to survive through 24 hour periods with very little left to glance at the next 24. Maintaining the safety of our kids is a challenge in balancing visual schedules, the correct sensory input, and praying for peace to reign. It's exhausting. It's overwhelming. It is refining.
When we first held our precious firstborn in our arms we dreamed what any parent does - that we would play with him, teach him how to ride his bike, have endless play dates, sticky banana kisses, outings to the park or libraries....and so on. And we did. For two years we had a relatively typical first parents experience.
It was during the summer before Buddy turned three that the red flags we had been seeing in his development and play became full out warning bells and sirens. Gone were play dates and outings. Screaming and nightmares and utter chaos became the norm. Violence and meltdowns became common.
With visits to specialists we realized this wasn't 'just' a phase or bad parenting or a sickness that would be cured. Coming away from the first pediatric psychiatrist appointment, we were devastated. Not because Buddy was any different, or that we loved him less, or anything like that. It was a grief stemming from the death of dreams and the what -ifs of uncertainty of the future.
Back to Jesus, before this post becomes too sad. Jesus! He didn't continue to cry and wallow in his grief. Why? He knew what was ahead. He knew that he had the healing touch, or rather the resurrecting touch. He finished grieving, got up, and took action. He had an audience. He did the unthinkable and had the tomb opened. Then, he prayed.
Jesus is a great example for me here. He didn't ignore pain. He didn't stay in pain. He showed the world what is ahead for us - life! Joy! Time with Him!
Back to us and Buddy. It's not the big things that get me down about Buddy's future. I'm sure he'll be fine in the long run - especially with all of the different people God has put in our way to help him out. It's the 'little' things that break my heart for our 5 year old. -things like how he's had to forgo two different amazing field trips this school year because they would have overwhelmed him past recovery, or that having friends over not only takes planning and patience, but days of recovery as well. It's that we've had to postpone memorizing verses from the Bible because he latches on to a word or phrase and repeats it ad nauseum for hours or days on end. It's these little tears at my heart that are breaking it, causing the grief to swell.
I have to admit I don't like it. I hate grieving, but I'm starting to realize the gift that it is. Without proper grieving, I believe we would be stuck in pain so terrible, that we would just give up.
So today, I will have my cry. Tomorrow, though, I will look up and see how God is working.
xo,
J
Soli Deo Gloria
I haven't lost anyone super recently. My adopted grandmother did go to Heaven last year, and that was hard, but we had drifted a bit since I had moved out west. I miss her asking for a half a cup of coffee, or making rice krispies with her, or even sneaking PB cookie dough out of the bowl away from her watchful eye.
The grief the my husband and I are working through is a living breathing and ever changing grief. The grief has to do with our dreams and expectations of the future, as well as some expectations of 'normal' everyday life.
Anxiety and sensory processing disorders have given us the challenge of figuring out how to survive through 24 hour periods with very little left to glance at the next 24. Maintaining the safety of our kids is a challenge in balancing visual schedules, the correct sensory input, and praying for peace to reign. It's exhausting. It's overwhelming. It is refining.
When we first held our precious firstborn in our arms we dreamed what any parent does - that we would play with him, teach him how to ride his bike, have endless play dates, sticky banana kisses, outings to the park or libraries....and so on. And we did. For two years we had a relatively typical first parents experience.
It was during the summer before Buddy turned three that the red flags we had been seeing in his development and play became full out warning bells and sirens. Gone were play dates and outings. Screaming and nightmares and utter chaos became the norm. Violence and meltdowns became common.
With visits to specialists we realized this wasn't 'just' a phase or bad parenting or a sickness that would be cured. Coming away from the first pediatric psychiatrist appointment, we were devastated. Not because Buddy was any different, or that we loved him less, or anything like that. It was a grief stemming from the death of dreams and the what -ifs of uncertainty of the future.
Back to Jesus, before this post becomes too sad. Jesus! He didn't continue to cry and wallow in his grief. Why? He knew what was ahead. He knew that he had the healing touch, or rather the resurrecting touch. He finished grieving, got up, and took action. He had an audience. He did the unthinkable and had the tomb opened. Then, he prayed.
Jesus is a great example for me here. He didn't ignore pain. He didn't stay in pain. He showed the world what is ahead for us - life! Joy! Time with Him!
Back to us and Buddy. It's not the big things that get me down about Buddy's future. I'm sure he'll be fine in the long run - especially with all of the different people God has put in our way to help him out. It's the 'little' things that break my heart for our 5 year old. -things like how he's had to forgo two different amazing field trips this school year because they would have overwhelmed him past recovery, or that having friends over not only takes planning and patience, but days of recovery as well. It's that we've had to postpone memorizing verses from the Bible because he latches on to a word or phrase and repeats it ad nauseum for hours or days on end. It's these little tears at my heart that are breaking it, causing the grief to swell.
I have to admit I don't like it. I hate grieving, but I'm starting to realize the gift that it is. Without proper grieving, I believe we would be stuck in pain so terrible, that we would just give up.
So today, I will have my cry. Tomorrow, though, I will look up and see how God is working.
xo,
J
Soli Deo Gloria
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Chicken with Fresh Herb Ravioli
I waffled a bit before I sat down to write this post. I have been meaning to do a follow up post with a picture tutorial to my last post....instead of just talking about paper making - actually showing you how to do it.
THEN! Mother's Day happened. While that tidbit might not make you understand why I am on a tangent away from paper making, it makes absolute sense with the next sentence. My wonderful husband and kids got me a pot full of fresh herbs to grow in my windowsill. It is a ginormous pot and has sufficient herbs to satisfy my longing for fresh foods! It has sage, parsley, thyme, and oregano. It smells amazing!
SO! Instead of going on and on about my love of paper making, I have decided to share with you what my family ate tonight....and the recipe, so you could eat it too!
We made chicken with fresh herbs ravioli with sage and garlic butter sauce.
First off, we made the pasta dough (all recipes at the end). I let it rest for 20 minutes before getting out the lovely pasta roller. Little Red woke up from her nap at this point, and was in a F.U.N.K. Seriously grumpy child, so I did what any sensible parent would do...got her to help me in the kitchen. Ha. Maybe not super sensible, but for this little munchkin, if her hands are busy, she's usually happy.
She helped turn the crank of the pasta roller, while I fed the machine. S filled up the raviolis with the filling I had made while the pasta dough was resting. We made a great team, the three of us.
Once we finished enough to eat a decent supper, the first batch went into the boiling pot of water, and I started on the butter sauce.
The kids being not as adventurous as us only ate the naked pasta, and boy howdy did they chow down! S and I barely bit into our first one before their plates were licked clean!
So...enough about our experience - here are the recipes for your delicious pleasure!
Ravioli dough:
1.5 lb all purpose flour
2 eggs
about 1.5 tbs of olive oil
water to reach the right consistency
Put your flour in a large bowl (or use an kitchenaid) and make a well in the center. crack the eggs and add the oil to the well. Bring the flour from the edges into the well and start stirring (or use your dough hook on LOW speed). keep mixing, adding a TBS of water at a time until it is smooth and elastic. kneed for a few minutes. Let the dough rest for at least 10 minutes before rolling.
Chicken with fresh herb filling:
6 chicken thighs
2.5 cups shred mozzarella cheese
half handful of parsley
about 6 sprigs of thyme - without the stems
about 7 leaves of rosemary
4-5 sprigs of oregano - again, no stems
1 egg
Boil the chicken until cooked, then shred. While still warm, stir together the cheese. Add the herbs after minced finely. add salt and pepper to taste. Add egg.
Assemble the raviolis! (if you need help with this step, ask in the comments)
Garlic and sage butter sauce
2 heaped tsp garlic
11-12 sage leaves minced
3-4 tbs butter
1-1 1/2 cup of pasta water (water you boiled your pasta in)
melt the butter. Add garlic and sage and cook for a minute or two. Add the water (watch out! it'll bubble) stir and let thicken. Add your boiled raviolis to the sauce and let it cook down while you stir them to keep from sticking - about 5-8 minutes.
and! you are done!
enjoy!
XO,
J
SOLI DEO GLORIA
THEN! Mother's Day happened. While that tidbit might not make you understand why I am on a tangent away from paper making, it makes absolute sense with the next sentence. My wonderful husband and kids got me a pot full of fresh herbs to grow in my windowsill. It is a ginormous pot and has sufficient herbs to satisfy my longing for fresh foods! It has sage, parsley, thyme, and oregano. It smells amazing!
SO! Instead of going on and on about my love of paper making, I have decided to share with you what my family ate tonight....and the recipe, so you could eat it too!
We made chicken with fresh herbs ravioli with sage and garlic butter sauce.
 |
| While it might not look as amazing as it sounds....it was fantastic! |
First off, we made the pasta dough (all recipes at the end). I let it rest for 20 minutes before getting out the lovely pasta roller. Little Red woke up from her nap at this point, and was in a F.U.N.K. Seriously grumpy child, so I did what any sensible parent would do...got her to help me in the kitchen. Ha. Maybe not super sensible, but for this little munchkin, if her hands are busy, she's usually happy.
She helped turn the crank of the pasta roller, while I fed the machine. S filled up the raviolis with the filling I had made while the pasta dough was resting. We made a great team, the three of us.
Once we finished enough to eat a decent supper, the first batch went into the boiling pot of water, and I started on the butter sauce.
The kids being not as adventurous as us only ate the naked pasta, and boy howdy did they chow down! S and I barely bit into our first one before their plates were licked clean!
So...enough about our experience - here are the recipes for your delicious pleasure!
Ravioli dough:
1.5 lb all purpose flour
2 eggs
about 1.5 tbs of olive oil
water to reach the right consistency
Put your flour in a large bowl (or use an kitchenaid) and make a well in the center. crack the eggs and add the oil to the well. Bring the flour from the edges into the well and start stirring (or use your dough hook on LOW speed). keep mixing, adding a TBS of water at a time until it is smooth and elastic. kneed for a few minutes. Let the dough rest for at least 10 minutes before rolling.
Chicken with fresh herb filling:
6 chicken thighs
2.5 cups shred mozzarella cheese
half handful of parsley
about 6 sprigs of thyme - without the stems
about 7 leaves of rosemary
4-5 sprigs of oregano - again, no stems
1 egg
Boil the chicken until cooked, then shred. While still warm, stir together the cheese. Add the herbs after minced finely. add salt and pepper to taste. Add egg.
Assemble the raviolis! (if you need help with this step, ask in the comments)
Garlic and sage butter sauce
2 heaped tsp garlic
11-12 sage leaves minced
3-4 tbs butter
1-1 1/2 cup of pasta water (water you boiled your pasta in)
melt the butter. Add garlic and sage and cook for a minute or two. Add the water (watch out! it'll bubble) stir and let thicken. Add your boiled raviolis to the sauce and let it cook down while you stir them to keep from sticking - about 5-8 minutes.
and! you are done!
enjoy!
XO,
J
SOLI DEO GLORIA
Thursday, April 30, 2015
All Things New
Lately, our house has been chaotic. Some of it is the natural chaos of having 3 kids under 6, but most of it is the unnatural chaos that comes with neurological gaps and high levels of anxiety. When this happens, though, I can't help but start looking at how God is showing up.
Monday we had an appointment not made by us with Buddy's old doctor. She passed him up because she only works with kids under 5. It was a very sad day when we said goodbye to her, as she has been one of the only professionals to see Buddy as he is, instead of the calm facade he puts on especially in doctors' offices. When she heard the report of how he is doing...she took him back. I am in awe of God's grace in this situation. She has also been preemptive and wants to meet with his whole team on order to get everyone, including the school, on the same page. This is unheard of. We are so grateful that God stepped in and is providing amazing care for our incredible son!
In the midst of the chaos I have developed a new hobby. It's mindless enough that once I get going I don't have to think about what I'm doing. It's interesting enough to keep me dreaming and planning. Knitting, or crocheting, you see, needs more of my senses and time where I am kid free - especially the patterns I love to work on. Writing, for me, requires quiet. But! Paper making, my new love, is keeping my hands busy while my eyes and mind can stay on the kids!
It's such a picture to me, too, though of how God works in our lives. The first step of recycling paper into new sheets is selecting the medium. God picks us out of a pile and gets to work on us.Then you break down the paper into smaller pieces. God takes apart our heart and washes us clean.
The next steps are painful, but necessary. The paper mush gets drowned in water then put in a blender of food processor. God puts us in situations to completely break us down to get us ready for the use that is best suited for us. Sometimes, that is completely different from what we were before Jesus, sometimes it's very similar.
After being ground into pulp, the slurry gets dumped into a large vat and more water is poured on it to bring up the water level in order to cover the screen that will be dipped.
Here comes the cool part - the papermaker gets the screen and deckle (the frame that holds the paper pulp to the screen which determines the size of the paper) ready then submerses it in the murky water. Swishing the screen around to get the consistency just right, the paper maker then pulls the screen and deckle out of the water. Now you can either pour off the water, or let it drip through the screen or start the process over again. The paper doesn't always cooperate, and can be holey or to thick or too thin or just not useful for the task it's destined for. Same goes for us, doesn't it? Often times we resist what God is doing because we don't know the end-goal, so back into the bucket we go.
When everything is just right, the screen and deckle come out and get placed on a towel, then the deckle is lifted, revealing a very fragile and new piece of paper. Next, a piece of felt is placed directly on the paper and smooshed to adhere to it to protect it and to help it keep its shape - I feel like this is like other believers that God puts in our path to help shape and direct us in the way He would have us go.
After a second or two, the paper maker flips the whole thing over and starts to press all of the water out of the soaked paper. It takes a lot of pressure and many different sponges to get all of the water out. After enough water is pressed, the screen is taken away. Now the paper only has one more step before it can be used - drying.
Drying can take what seems like forever. There are things you can do to speed up the process, like using a dehydrator, or a fan, or even the oven, but left on its own, the paper can take days, or even a full week to dry.
After the 'forever' of waiting, the paper is ready. It's such a parallel process, isn't it? I'm so glad God takes the old and makes us new!
How have you seen God lately?
xo,
J
Soli Deo Gloria!
Monday we had an appointment not made by us with Buddy's old doctor. She passed him up because she only works with kids under 5. It was a very sad day when we said goodbye to her, as she has been one of the only professionals to see Buddy as he is, instead of the calm facade he puts on especially in doctors' offices. When she heard the report of how he is doing...she took him back. I am in awe of God's grace in this situation. She has also been preemptive and wants to meet with his whole team on order to get everyone, including the school, on the same page. This is unheard of. We are so grateful that God stepped in and is providing amazing care for our incredible son!
In the midst of the chaos I have developed a new hobby. It's mindless enough that once I get going I don't have to think about what I'm doing. It's interesting enough to keep me dreaming and planning. Knitting, or crocheting, you see, needs more of my senses and time where I am kid free - especially the patterns I love to work on. Writing, for me, requires quiet. But! Paper making, my new love, is keeping my hands busy while my eyes and mind can stay on the kids!
It's such a picture to me, too, though of how God works in our lives. The first step of recycling paper into new sheets is selecting the medium. God picks us out of a pile and gets to work on us.Then you break down the paper into smaller pieces. God takes apart our heart and washes us clean.
The next steps are painful, but necessary. The paper mush gets drowned in water then put in a blender of food processor. God puts us in situations to completely break us down to get us ready for the use that is best suited for us. Sometimes, that is completely different from what we were before Jesus, sometimes it's very similar.
After being ground into pulp, the slurry gets dumped into a large vat and more water is poured on it to bring up the water level in order to cover the screen that will be dipped.
Here comes the cool part - the papermaker gets the screen and deckle (the frame that holds the paper pulp to the screen which determines the size of the paper) ready then submerses it in the murky water. Swishing the screen around to get the consistency just right, the paper maker then pulls the screen and deckle out of the water. Now you can either pour off the water, or let it drip through the screen or start the process over again. The paper doesn't always cooperate, and can be holey or to thick or too thin or just not useful for the task it's destined for. Same goes for us, doesn't it? Often times we resist what God is doing because we don't know the end-goal, so back into the bucket we go.
When everything is just right, the screen and deckle come out and get placed on a towel, then the deckle is lifted, revealing a very fragile and new piece of paper. Next, a piece of felt is placed directly on the paper and smooshed to adhere to it to protect it and to help it keep its shape - I feel like this is like other believers that God puts in our path to help shape and direct us in the way He would have us go.
After a second or two, the paper maker flips the whole thing over and starts to press all of the water out of the soaked paper. It takes a lot of pressure and many different sponges to get all of the water out. After enough water is pressed, the screen is taken away. Now the paper only has one more step before it can be used - drying.
Drying can take what seems like forever. There are things you can do to speed up the process, like using a dehydrator, or a fan, or even the oven, but left on its own, the paper can take days, or even a full week to dry.
After the 'forever' of waiting, the paper is ready. It's such a parallel process, isn't it? I'm so glad God takes the old and makes us new!
How have you seen God lately?
xo,
J
Soli Deo Gloria!
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