There have been so many blog posts and discussions surrounding the whole 'Mommy War' thing that happens. Most of them focus on making sure you know that you are awesome at what you do, and others are awesome at what they do, so don't worry about it, it all evens out in the end. Others focused on things like Facebook being a false front to who we really are - meaning we don't post our bad pictures of when we're frustrated with out husbands or kids or when we burn the stew or so on. Facebook helps us (especially mothers who are house-bound in need of adult interaction) present our best as if it was what our lives are like all the time.
I think this is where the 'Mommy Wars' posts have fallen short for me.
Many of them actually shame people who are honestly good at many
different things and share about it - they assume that there is some
area of their life that is completely lacking. It might not be true -
they really might be good at everything and have their heads above
water. Others shame people because they don't even comprehend how you
can't get out of your pajamas and feed your kids something other than
dry cheerios on the couch. These 'dry cheerio' moms might be the ones
who are posting the fabulous pictures, or they might be silent
bystanders wounded by unkind comments.
I'm guilty of perpetuating the 'War'. I've posted my knitting projects I've finished, or baking that has turned out delicious, or even pictures of my kids dressed for church on Easter. I've posted one or two pictures that show a 'fail', but they are humorous and not telling about 'normal' life at my house.
I don't show off my mistakes. I don't post about how many movies my kids watch in a single week. I don't talk about how I get so frustrated with having to pull out knitting (again) that I throw it to the other couch.
What am I doing?! Honestly, if I break it down completely, I'm trying to show you how I am god and perfect in every way. ME? I don't need help - I've got this thing called life completely figured out - didn't you see that picture of Little Red's hair done up? Didn't you see that I made ravioli from scratch? ...c'mon, would a god need YOU?!
It's awful, isn't it? I do it, and then forget that I know nothing about life in anyone else's shoes.
What I do know or at least think I know,(then promptly forget in the throws of war) is that how we tend to present ourselves is not at all how God sees us. We try to define ourselves and put out on social media or where ever. We hope no one sees the chink in our armor, and when they do we either run for cover, or draw our swords for an all out battle. What we need to do is not be afraid and say 'Yup here's the chink, and you know what, here's what's under the armor - me, a human marred by sin, saved by God, and important to Him.'
Maybe we struggle to see ourselves with God's eyes and that's why we hide in the spotlight (or backstage). We want to feel important or worthy or lovely, but we forget that we already are.
We let our mistakes, which show off our need for Jesus, define us instead of giving us a reason to praise. Example: I forgot an important appointment - I could fret and feel stupid, but Jesus saved me because he loves me and I can call for another appointment. OR I yelled at my kids for spilling their milk AGAAAAAAAIN - I could feel like a bad mom and get more grumpy, but Jesus saved me out of my mistakes and I can be grateful I can ask Him and my kids for forgiveness and start fresh in a few minutes.
I may make mistakes, but I can acknowledge them, give them to Jesus, and get over them rather than get stuck and let them define me. It kind of reminds me of the AA - "Hi, I'm so-and-so, and I make mistakes"...."Hi so-and-so"...right? Instead of touting our success, though (I've gone x amount of days without making a mistake) we show off Jesus (It's more like Jesus saved me x amount of days ago, and He's still doing awesome work).
...now, if only I (and we) lived like this all of the time, what would that look like?
xo,
J
Soli Deo Gloria (to only God be glory)
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