Even right now, going through my head is On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand:
When Darkness veils his lovely face
I Trust in his unfailing Grace
In every high and stormy gale
my anchor holds within the veil
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand
...That verse especially encapsulates what I've been feeling. I don't understand what's been going on, the darkness has been hiding or at least obscuring God's goodness, but I don't need to fear because I can trust in His UNFAILING grace.
JJ Heller has a song called Who You are the chorus goes like this:
Sometimes I don't know, I don't know what you're doing
I don't know, I don't know what you're doing,
BUT! I know who You are.
THAT is it! That is the theme of these songs, I really have no idea WHY God is giving us the life He is, but I know WHO He is.
He who put the stars in
place pours out wrath on those who do not turn from sin.
He who so loved the world
sent the LION of Judah.
His love is magnificent, so
wholly terrifying we fall on our faces from the sheer pureness of it,
and we use the word 'love' so flippantly and in such a way it
demeans, degrades and defiles. God is love and we have only a small
glimpse, through a dark glass of what love really means.
I believe in God. I believe
He is powerful enough to bring us into situations like Jonah -where
we have absolutely no inclination towards the people He loves. We
don't understand his fierce and earnest desire for those we have
deemed unreachable or tainted. We run from His commands to what we
believe will be easier and find ourselves in a pit. A stinky, bottom
of the ocean pit of utter lonliness, chaos and despair. We often
mislabel our disobedience as a lesson God is teaching and then call
out for Him to save us. In His everlasting and awe-inspiring grace,
he has the fish spit us out. Our pit has done nothing to change our
hearts, we still have no desire to follow God, but we do, realizing
in some aspect that our disobedience causes us pain. We technically
follow his commands, with no joy, nor excitement. We sit back and see
how people respond to God's unfailing and incomprehensible love and
we moan and complain. God did not need Jonah to reach the people of
Nineveh, but He chose to use this prophet in a way I'm sure would not
be forgotten.
I love that the end of Jonah
is an open ending. There is no happy resolution for Jonah. God has
had his task satisfied and the people of Nineveh have repented, but
Jonah has not. It's a perfect picture for us today. God is not about
me. God is about Him. So often, though, God invites us into glorious
tasks that are not about us and we get upset, and when we are utterly
miserable in our failure, He invites us again. His love is
relentless. It is not God's fault Jonah is miserable. Who wouldn't
want to be part of finding the cure to an incurable disease, or a
party celebrating the overthrowing of an inhumane regime? Us. Jonah.
We get so caught up in what we want or don't want to do, that we lose
sight of the important, the immortal, the immeasurably joyous thing
God is asking us to be part of.
Jonah, like us, has (or had)
a choice. He did not have to stay there under 'his' dead vine and
bemoan his wondrous circumstances. He could have gotten up and taken
part of the redemptive revelry brought about by God's unfathomable
mercy for the Ninevites. We, the redeemed, must remember this mercy
was used to draw us into the Kingdom.
His mercy is so beautiful it
leaves us speechless, but with a need to cry out with the rocks. It
shakes us to the core and upends our selves. Grace, mercy's partner,
is also wondrous that we have no earthly words to describe the
wholeness is produces.
His kindness leads us to
repentance, yet a majority, like the Israelite heritage we have,
forget. Giants stand in our way. The Red sea, the river Jordan, the
lack of food, the lack of water, the inane, the basic, the
underwhelming needs of the body stacked with the overwhelming
mistrust of the Infinite God who has promised, proven, and provided
all good things.
We who ate the forbidden
fruit and revel in our filth and muck. Who glory in cheating the
system and garnering treasures that rot not only psychically but
spiritually. Who prostitute our bodies to abuse after abuse of
gluttony or starvation, not to mention the hedonistic highs of drink,
sex, drug, and vice. Who justify anger and harsh words. Who lead
children into 'harmless' lies to cover shame. Who set up idol after
idol and make sacrifices to the gods of health, wealth, and self. We
gloat in our shame. We flaunt our hideous malignancy and waltz before
the throne of the Almighty with requests for parking spaces, blessing
of sinful relationships, and dastardly vows.
We point to Elijah's burnout
and use it for justification of our own, neglecting to remember the
circumstances surrounding his time under the broom tree. We look to
Hagar's request and think our own, sin laden petition will be
granted, and are angered and scathing in our response when God turns
down the unglorifying postulation. We read about Job and feel we are
the same in blamelessness, but forsake the warnings of Malachi. We
cherry pick through the God's Holy Word to justify our existence,
when what we really need to do is grab hold of the sanctification and
subsequent justification provided only in and through the Messiah.
I want nothing to do with
the pithy god who is only worth turning to when disaster strikes. I
want nothing to do with the god who is above all thinking of me. I
want nothing to do with mishandling, misquoting, and misusing the
precious Book God has given to us. I want no part of easy,
self-satisfying worship.
I want to be overwhelmed. I
want to be upended. I want to be put in the crucible. I want to be
washed in the blood of the Lion-Lamb and take on His fearful
holiness. I want to live in and because of His power. I want to out
sing the rest of creation with praise too wonderful for even angels
to comprehend. I want to stand and be counted. I want to live and die
for Him who died for holiness, wholeness, completion, and glory. Most
of all, I want Him.
How about you? Want have your anchor hold within THAT veil?
XO,
J
Soli Deo Glorie
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