Lately, our house has been chaotic. Some of it is the natural chaos of having 3 kids under 6, but most of it is the unnatural chaos that comes with neurological gaps and high levels of anxiety. When this happens, though, I can't help but start looking at how God is showing up.
Monday we had an appointment not made by us with Buddy's old doctor. She passed him up because she only works with kids under 5. It was a very sad day when we said goodbye to her, as she has been one of the only professionals to see Buddy as he is, instead of the calm facade he puts on especially in doctors' offices. When she heard the report of how he is doing...she took him back. I am in awe of God's grace in this situation. She has also been preemptive and wants to meet with his whole team on order to get everyone, including the school, on the same page. This is unheard of. We are so grateful that God stepped in and is providing amazing care for our incredible son!
In the midst of the chaos I have developed a new hobby. It's mindless enough that once I get going I don't have to think about what I'm doing. It's interesting enough to keep me dreaming and planning. Knitting, or crocheting, you see, needs more of my senses and time where I am kid free - especially the patterns I love to work on. Writing, for me, requires quiet. But! Paper making, my new love, is keeping my hands busy while my eyes and mind can stay on the kids!
It's such a picture to me, too, though of how God works in our lives. The first step of recycling paper into new sheets is selecting the medium. God picks us out of a pile and gets to work on us.Then you break down the paper into smaller pieces. God takes apart our heart and washes us clean.
The next steps are painful, but necessary. The paper mush gets drowned in water then put in a blender of food processor. God puts us in situations to completely break us down to get us ready for the use that is best suited for us. Sometimes, that is completely different from what we were before Jesus, sometimes it's very similar.
After being ground into pulp, the slurry gets dumped into a large vat and more water is poured on it to bring up the water level in order to cover the screen that will be dipped.
Here comes the cool part - the papermaker gets the screen and deckle (the frame that holds the paper pulp to the screen which determines the size of the paper) ready then submerses it in the murky water. Swishing the screen around to get the consistency just right, the paper maker then pulls the screen and deckle out of the water. Now you can either pour off the water, or let it drip through the screen or start the process over again. The paper doesn't always cooperate, and can be holey or to thick or too thin or just not useful for the task it's destined for. Same goes for us, doesn't it? Often times we resist what God is doing because we don't know the end-goal, so back into the bucket we go.
When everything is just right, the screen and deckle come out and get placed on a towel, then the deckle is lifted, revealing a very fragile and new piece of paper. Next, a piece of felt is placed directly on the paper and smooshed to adhere to it to protect it and to help it keep its shape - I feel like this is like other believers that God puts in our path to help shape and direct us in the way He would have us go.
After a second or two, the paper maker flips the whole thing over and starts to press all of the water out of the soaked paper. It takes a lot of pressure and many different sponges to get all of the water out. After enough water is pressed, the screen is taken away. Now the paper only has one more step before it can be used - drying.
Drying can take what seems like forever. There are things you can do to speed up the process, like using a dehydrator, or a fan, or even the oven, but left on its own, the paper can take days, or even a full week to dry.
After the 'forever' of waiting, the paper is ready. It's such a parallel process, isn't it? I'm so glad God takes the old and makes us new!
How have you seen God lately?
xo,
J
Soli Deo Gloria!
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Earth Day and Stewardship
It's been a while, hasn't it? My life has been UP...and DOOOOOOWN lately. So much chaos, so many different things that have kept our entire family crazy!
BUT! I've been able to keep up with my resolutions - the ones of reading 52 books this year and memorizing the book of James. While I'm WAY ahead in the book department (32 of 52 complete!...will post a list soon) I'm still in the first 20 verses of James. It's SO slow going, but I've found an app that is really helping me! Hooray!
The book I am currently reading is called Follow by Floyd McClung. It is so good. It's also one of those ones that hits you in the stomach because it has so much in it that is convicting. Yesterday's chapter was on faithfulness, and this is where this post has sprung from.
Lately, God has been working on my heart in stewardship and being faithful in the small things. I've told you before how hard I find it to do housework or things like that - and in my life, those are the small things. I can get SO caught up in big projects or dreams, that I completely lose sight of my own house.
Being faithful and diligent in keeping my house clean and my clothes laundered enables me to have people over without having the giant RUSH to clean up right before the doorbell rings. It also cuts down on fights with the kids because they know where their toys or water bottles are. Overall, it promotes peace.
Being faithful in praying for people I've said I would has really been cool, too. I've been starting to write down requests and keep track of the answers. God is so cool. Even with our 'pithy' requests, God is kind. I've also seen bigger things get put into motion. Certain people have made godly decisions, others have started reading their Bibles more, and even my kids are excited about praying.
Being faithful in the small things really prepares you for the big things of the world. This is where I can tie this in to Earth Day. Think about it - if we took the time to recycle and reuse what we have our own environmental impact would diminish. This includes meal planning to eliminate (or at least cut down on) food waste, patching clothes, or grouping errands to save fuel.
Being faithful overall is tough. I cannot do it on my own - it is part of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. I am so grateful that He is involved, or else I would be entirely overwhelmed and a failure.
How have you been challenged lately? With what do you need to be faithful?
XO,
J
Soli Deo Gloria
BUT! I've been able to keep up with my resolutions - the ones of reading 52 books this year and memorizing the book of James. While I'm WAY ahead in the book department (32 of 52 complete!...will post a list soon) I'm still in the first 20 verses of James. It's SO slow going, but I've found an app that is really helping me! Hooray!
The book I am currently reading is called Follow by Floyd McClung. It is so good. It's also one of those ones that hits you in the stomach because it has so much in it that is convicting. Yesterday's chapter was on faithfulness, and this is where this post has sprung from.
Lately, God has been working on my heart in stewardship and being faithful in the small things. I've told you before how hard I find it to do housework or things like that - and in my life, those are the small things. I can get SO caught up in big projects or dreams, that I completely lose sight of my own house.
Being faithful and diligent in keeping my house clean and my clothes laundered enables me to have people over without having the giant RUSH to clean up right before the doorbell rings. It also cuts down on fights with the kids because they know where their toys or water bottles are. Overall, it promotes peace.
Being faithful in praying for people I've said I would has really been cool, too. I've been starting to write down requests and keep track of the answers. God is so cool. Even with our 'pithy' requests, God is kind. I've also seen bigger things get put into motion. Certain people have made godly decisions, others have started reading their Bibles more, and even my kids are excited about praying.
Being faithful in the small things really prepares you for the big things of the world. This is where I can tie this in to Earth Day. Think about it - if we took the time to recycle and reuse what we have our own environmental impact would diminish. This includes meal planning to eliminate (or at least cut down on) food waste, patching clothes, or grouping errands to save fuel.
Being faithful overall is tough. I cannot do it on my own - it is part of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. I am so grateful that He is involved, or else I would be entirely overwhelmed and a failure.
How have you been challenged lately? With what do you need to be faithful?
XO,
J
Soli Deo Gloria
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
In Pain and Beauty
This post has been rolling around in my head for quite some time, so if it seems jumbled, let's just go with it got taken out of the dryer at the wrong time.
There are so many examples of what I want to try and say that I feel silly rehashing it. But....let me try to rehash it in a way that is personal to me.
In brokenness there can be a beauty that does not compare to anything else. That beauty also caters to the soul, not just the flesh.
On the worst days at my house, the ones I'm covered in puke or have been punched or bitten, I try to surround myself with beauty to try and take the sting out of the day. While it isn't the brokenness that causes the beauty, it's the juxtaposition that creates a heightened meaning. For instance, when one of us wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, I reach for my most beautiful mug: a china mug with gorgeous roses. While it doesn't chase the grumpies away, it does bolster resilience for a few hours.
I just finished a book called The Elegance of a Hedgehog. While it's main theme is not about what I'm talking about - it does touch on it. It was a beautiful book that fed my soul while chaos surrounded me. I suggest you look it up and dig in to it. Not only is the language stellar the whole book just made me smile and laugh out loud. (especially when she finally visits her neighbor!)
One of my favourite examples of brokenness causing beauty is found during the death of Christ. Since we just passed Easter, I thought it fitting to highlight it for you today. In the temple, separating the world from the Holy of Holies - the place where man would go to meet with God at the mercy seat to offer a blood sacrifice - there was a curtain. It wasn't just your average run of the mill curtain that could be pushed away. It was thick. It was HEAVY. It was HUGE - I'm talking 60 feet by 30 feet, not to mention it was about 4 inches thick. ....Now THAT is a curtain. It was also beautiful. It was woven in scarlet and blue by people who were specifically gifted to do so.
Thing is, it was 'just' beautiful. The thing that makes it heart-achingly, astoundingly glorious is that it was ripped from top to bottom. In and of itself, a ripped curtain would not be lovely, it would be broken, but that brokenness is infused with symbolism and meaning. That stunning tear signified the lack of barrier between God and man. The death coinciding with that rip opened the way for Man to come before God without the ritual sacrifice, but instead, covered in the blood of the Lamb.
That broken veil is beautiful - more so than when it was whole. It offers us the chance to not just survive, but live.
What beauty in brokenness have you seen?
XO,
J
Soli Deo Gloria
There are so many examples of what I want to try and say that I feel silly rehashing it. But....let me try to rehash it in a way that is personal to me.
In brokenness there can be a beauty that does not compare to anything else. That beauty also caters to the soul, not just the flesh.
On the worst days at my house, the ones I'm covered in puke or have been punched or bitten, I try to surround myself with beauty to try and take the sting out of the day. While it isn't the brokenness that causes the beauty, it's the juxtaposition that creates a heightened meaning. For instance, when one of us wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, I reach for my most beautiful mug: a china mug with gorgeous roses. While it doesn't chase the grumpies away, it does bolster resilience for a few hours.
I just finished a book called The Elegance of a Hedgehog. While it's main theme is not about what I'm talking about - it does touch on it. It was a beautiful book that fed my soul while chaos surrounded me. I suggest you look it up and dig in to it. Not only is the language stellar the whole book just made me smile and laugh out loud. (especially when she finally visits her neighbor!)
One of my favourite examples of brokenness causing beauty is found during the death of Christ. Since we just passed Easter, I thought it fitting to highlight it for you today. In the temple, separating the world from the Holy of Holies - the place where man would go to meet with God at the mercy seat to offer a blood sacrifice - there was a curtain. It wasn't just your average run of the mill curtain that could be pushed away. It was thick. It was HEAVY. It was HUGE - I'm talking 60 feet by 30 feet, not to mention it was about 4 inches thick. ....Now THAT is a curtain. It was also beautiful. It was woven in scarlet and blue by people who were specifically gifted to do so.
Thing is, it was 'just' beautiful. The thing that makes it heart-achingly, astoundingly glorious is that it was ripped from top to bottom. In and of itself, a ripped curtain would not be lovely, it would be broken, but that brokenness is infused with symbolism and meaning. That stunning tear signified the lack of barrier between God and man. The death coinciding with that rip opened the way for Man to come before God without the ritual sacrifice, but instead, covered in the blood of the Lamb.
That broken veil is beautiful - more so than when it was whole. It offers us the chance to not just survive, but live.
What beauty in brokenness have you seen?
XO,
J
Soli Deo Gloria
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