Lately, our house has been chaotic. Some of it is the natural chaos of having 3 kids under 6, but most of it is the unnatural chaos that comes with neurological gaps and high levels of anxiety. When this happens, though, I can't help but start looking at how God is showing up.
Monday we had an appointment not made by us with Buddy's old doctor. She passed him up because she only works with kids under 5. It was a very sad day when we said goodbye to her, as she has been one of the only professionals to see Buddy as he is, instead of the calm facade he puts on especially in doctors' offices. When she heard the report of how he is doing...she took him back. I am in awe of God's grace in this situation. She has also been preemptive and wants to meet with his whole team on order to get everyone, including the school, on the same page. This is unheard of. We are so grateful that God stepped in and is providing amazing care for our incredible son!
In the midst of the chaos I have developed a new hobby. It's mindless enough that once I get going I don't have to think about what I'm doing. It's interesting enough to keep me dreaming and planning. Knitting, or crocheting, you see, needs more of my senses and time where I am kid free - especially the patterns I love to work on. Writing, for me, requires quiet. But! Paper making, my new love, is keeping my hands busy while my eyes and mind can stay on the kids!
It's such a picture to me, too, though of how God works in our lives. The first step of recycling paper into new sheets is selecting the medium. God picks us out of a pile and gets to work on us.Then you break down the paper into smaller pieces. God takes apart our heart and washes us clean.
The next steps are painful, but necessary. The paper mush gets drowned in water then put in a blender of food processor. God puts us in situations to completely break us down to get us ready for the use that is best suited for us. Sometimes, that is completely different from what we were before Jesus, sometimes it's very similar.
After being ground into pulp, the slurry gets dumped into a large vat and more water is poured on it to bring up the water level in order to cover the screen that will be dipped.
Here comes the cool part - the papermaker gets the screen and deckle (the frame that holds the paper pulp to the screen which determines the size of the paper) ready then submerses it in the murky water. Swishing the screen around to get the consistency just right, the paper maker then pulls the screen and deckle out of the water. Now you can either pour off the water, or let it drip through the screen or start the process over again. The paper doesn't always cooperate, and can be holey or to thick or too thin or just not useful for the task it's destined for. Same goes for us, doesn't it? Often times we resist what God is doing because we don't know the end-goal, so back into the bucket we go.
When everything is just right, the screen and deckle come out and get placed on a towel, then the deckle is lifted, revealing a very fragile and new piece of paper. Next, a piece of felt is placed directly on the paper and smooshed to adhere to it to protect it and to help it keep its shape - I feel like this is like other believers that God puts in our path to help shape and direct us in the way He would have us go.
After a second or two, the paper maker flips the whole thing over and starts to press all of the water out of the soaked paper. It takes a lot of pressure and many different sponges to get all of the water out. After enough water is pressed, the screen is taken away. Now the paper only has one more step before it can be used - drying.
Drying can take what seems like forever. There are things you can do to speed up the process, like using a dehydrator, or a fan, or even the oven, but left on its own, the paper can take days, or even a full week to dry.
After the 'forever' of waiting, the paper is ready. It's such a parallel process, isn't it? I'm so glad God takes the old and makes us new!
How have you seen God lately?
xo,
J
Soli Deo Gloria!
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