Over the last few weeks, S and I have encountered what we have deemed to be in the top 3 of our worst weeks of our married life. The nutshell version : we're coming to realize the severity of Buddy's needs, and how that looks physically, emotionally, and mentally.
For me, it has put me in an ultra vulnerable place where taking the next breath almost requires thought. This take-my-breath-away realizing is on-going and brutal. It has forced us to our knees with only groans for prayers.
It has also made us stop sugar-coating to make it seem better in our own minds. With this lack of sugar comes the ability to be honest and ask for help. It is hard to ask for help. To admit that you cannot handle something on your own...ugh. So hard.
This week, we talked to other people about what was going on, and the overwhelming response of wanting to know specifics of how to help...has also been breath taking. It also has deepened my understanding of what love looks like.
Today, love looks like:
- a meal cooked for us and delivered with paper plates, so we have no dishes to worry about
- a husband stopping just because, and carrying a latte in his hand, just for me!
- flowers in a mason jar
- life-giving, perspective enhancing phone calls with 'aunties'
- knowing people are praying specifically for us
Love is so much more than that, really, but God has been opening my eyes to how He works through His Body to shower us with love.
Have you felt love lately?
XO,
J
soli deo gloria
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